Soundbites
by Subieko
Summary: A collection of Sound-centric oneshots. Spoilers vary, but almost all include spoilers for the Sasuke retrieval arc. Genres also vary.
1. Winter

Author's Note: this was written for the prompt 'winter'. Sasuke-centric, rating maybe T for mentions of violence, has spoilers for the Sasuke retrieval arc (obviously, since it's Sound-centric...). Enjoy!

Prompt: Winter

_(the snow reminds Sasuke of things he's tried to forget)_

Winter in Sound was different than Sasuke had expected. But then, most things in Sound were different than Sasuke had expected. He was left to himself, mostly, to do whatever he wanted. He was getting stronger, he could feel it--there was no downside. This was the right decision. Sasuke wouldn't say he was happy at Sound, but he hadn't been happy in Konoha either, not since the night his brother had shattered Sasuke's world into a million pieces that would never fit together again.

But then winter had come, and suddenly being left to his own devices wasn't so appealing anymore. Sasuke couldn't train every second of his waking hours, and in those moments of rest, memories would assault him. Memories of snow...

_It was the first snowfall of the year, and five-year-old Sasuke hadn't been able to wait for one more second to run out and play in it. He scooped up a handful of the cold, wet crystals, packing them into a ball. Laughing, Sasuke threw it at a tree, pretending he was Itachi throwing a shurikan at an enemy shinobi._

_"Kapow!" Sasuke shouted when the snowball hit the tree's trunk and burst into white powder. "I got 'im!"_

_"Got who?"_

_Sasuke whirled around, his face lighting up. "Big brother!" Itachi had come to play with him! There was nothing Sasuke liked better than spending time with his brother._

_"I told you to wait for me."_

_"But you were taking _forever_!" Sasuke whined._

_"I was gone for two minutes," Itachi said, shoving something into Sasuke's arms. "Now put on your coat. It's cold out here, you could get sick."_

_Grumbling under his breath, Sasuke shoved his arms through the sleeves of the coat and buttoned it up. It was the first snow! He couldn't wait around for Itachi to get his coat--there was no time to waste!_

_Itachi smiled at him, the smile he only showed to Sasuke. "You're so impatient. The snow's not going anywhere, little brother."_

_Sasuke beamed up at him; he could never stay annoyed at Itachi for very long. "C'mon, let's play!"_

_"I have a mission tomorrow...I don't have time to play with you," Itachi said, turning to go._

_"But--!" Sasuke scowled. "You always say that! Just for a little bit..."_

_Itachi sighed, then turned around. "...fine. But just for a little."_

_"Yay!" Sasuke didn't think he could ever, in his whole entire life, be happier than he was right then._

Sasuke shook his head. Thinking about Itachi now just made him angry. But he wasn't strong enough to kill his brother...not yet. He would get stronger, though. That was the most important thing--no, it was the _only_ thing in his life. The only thing that mattered.

Blinking, Sasuke raised a hand to brush snowflakes out of his eyelashes. The snow stung his skin, like needles...needles and ice...

_The masked boy was impossibly fast, teleporting from one mirror of ice to the next so quickly that even Sasuke's sharingan eyes could barely follow it. He was trapped, trapped by walls of ice, he and Naruto were pinned down and although Sasuke's mind was racing, he couldn't think of a way out. But he couldn't die--Itachi was still alive, he couldn't die yet! There must be a way, he just had to think of it, just had to _think_..._

_The masked boy was moving again, holding more of those senbon needles between his fingers--another attack. Sasuke focused his eyes on the boy's hands, getting ready to dodge. He couldn't get hit again...each blow slowed him down a little more, and if he wasn't careful, he wouldn't be able to dodge at all..._

_"This is the end!"_

_But the needles weren't aimed at him. Attacking...Naruto!?  
_Damn it! Please let me make it in time...

_Pain pierced through his entire body as the needles drilled into him. He was barely standing...but...no...he couldn't die...Itachi...he had to...had to..._

Sasuke grimaced, forcing the memory away. That was...a mistake. He had made a mistake that day. He had been fighting on instinct and adrenaline, and he had thrown himself in front of Haku's attack without thinking. A mistake.

"I won't die for anyone," Sasuke whispered, his breath visible in the cold air. "I won't sacrifice myself for anyone. I exist to kill Itachi. They...they were holding me back..."

Naruto and Sakura's faces drifted before his mind's eye. Smiling at him...fighting with him...supporting him. A team...

"No," he muttered. "I was weak with them. They were weak. Now...now I'll become stronger. On my own, I'll become strong enough to kill him."

Sasuke rubbed at his arms, shivering. He really should have put on some warmer clothes before coming outside. It had been a stupid idea anyway, coming out to watch the first snowfall.

"Hey, you."

Sasuke spun around, muscles already tensing for a fight even though he knew that voice. Probably _because_ he knew that voice.

Kabuto threw something at Sasuke. "Don't you know enough to wear a coat when it's snowing out? It'll be bothersome if you get sick and I have to fix you."

Sasuke had caught the coat mostly on instinct. He stared at Kabuto, uncomprehending. This was weirdly nice--for Kabuto, anyway--and that made Sasuke extremely suspicious.

_His brother handing him a coat. Taking care of him._

_His brother standing over the bodies of their parents, his eyes as cold as snow._

"I hate you," Sasuke blurted out, without quite knowing why.

"That's nice," Kabuto said, turning to go. "Don't stay outside too long."

Sasuke watched him leave, still clutching the coat in his hands. The wind was starting to pick up, driving snow into his face. He should really go back inside; it would be warmer. There was nothing to do or see outside anyway.

He would go back inside in just a moment. Just a moment. Just for one more moment, Sasuke wanted to pretend that he was back home, and his brother was kind, and his friends were with him. Just for one more moment.

But it really was cold, and Sasuke was starting to have trouble feeling his fingers and toes. He turned and went inside, hurriedly wiping his cheeks. The wind had stung his eyes. That was all.

It was impossible that he was crying.


	2. Curiosity

Author's Note: It's complete crack. But I love it anyway. XD Warnings: complete crack. Also, references to TEH PR0N.

Prompt: Curiosity

_(in which Sasuke discovers that curiosity hurts some people more than others)_

_Note: all excerpts and titles from fanfiction are from _actual_ fanfiction. I am not making this stuff up. Credit for the badfic goes to its authors; I certainly don't want it._

Sasuke was bored.

Although he was utterly devoted to his goal of gaining enough power to kill Itachi, Sasuke couldn't spend every second of every day training. He had just finished the last scroll in the pile he had planned to study that evening, and now he wasn't sure what to do next. Go get some more scrolls, maybe...but his mind needed at least some time to relax, or he'd burn out.

_Clickclickclick._

That was getting annoying, too. Libraries were good places to study, but unfortunately that meant hanging out with certain people who couldn't take a hint and leave Sasuke in peace.

_Clickityclackclickityclack._

"What are you doing, anyway?" Sasuke finally said, glancing over at the computer where Kabuto was typing something or other.

"What does anyone do on the internet, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke's eyebrows shot up nearly into his hairline. "You're looking at porn!?"

Kabuto sighed, shoving his glasses back up his nose. "I'm doing _research_."

"Yeah, right," Sasuke said. He had spent too much time around Kakashi to believe that someone doing 'research' on the internet was doing anything other than look at porn.

"See for yourself if you don't believe me."

Sasuke wasn't especially tempted by whatever porn someone as twisted as Kabuto would be interested in, but he _was_ bored. Shrugging, he pushed aside his pile of scrolls and went to look over the medic's shoulder at the computer screen.

To Sasuke's surprise, it actually _wasn't_ porn. Huh. It was a little bit frightening to think that Kabuto, of all people, might have more self-restraint than Kakashi. But that wasn't a line of thought Sasuke wanted to follow any further, so he looked at the screen again.

"What's this? 'Google'?"

"It's a search engine," Kabuto said, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'idiot' at the end.

"I know that!" Sasuke said, although it was a complete lie. He didn't know anything about computers. "What were you searching for?"

"Information," Kabuto said, which was not helpful at all. But then, Sasuke suspected it hadn't been intended to be.

Looking more closely at the screen, Sasuke saw a box with a blinking cursor in it. So...that was where you put what you wanted to search for? Normally Sasuke would have found something cutting to say and left, but he was terribly curious as to how this search engine thing worked.

"Hey, let's search for my name!" Sasuke said, grabbing the keyboard and typing it in.

"What the--I'm doing _work_, go find someone else to bother," Kabuto said, rather ineffectually since Sasuke was already clicking the button that said 'search'.

"Whoa...lots of stuff came up..." Sasuke said, blinking. Why the heck was there so much stuff about him on the internet?

"Do you have a blog or something?" Kabuto said, looking just as surprised as Sasuke. Really, there was an insane amount of pages.

"Blog?" Sasuke said. That sounded like a nonsense word to him. "Hey, what's this? Fanfiction-dot-net..."

"Never heard of it," Kabuto said. "And if you don't mind, I have other things to do..."

"You're not even a little curious?"

"Nope."

Sasuke glared at the medic. That was obviously a lie. How could he not want to know what this mysterious 'fanfiction' involving Sasuke was?

Seeing that Sasuke was unlikely to stop bothering him any time soon, Kabuto sighed and gave in. Grabbing the mouse, he clicked the link. A new page popped up. And the title bar said...

"Crimson Pools of Saddness?" Kabuto said, raising an eyebrow. "Why did they spell 'sadness' with two 'd's?"

Sasuke shrugged, looking at it cautiously. "Maybe it's about pools of blood? I _am_ a ninja..."

They scrolled the page down a little and started reading the text.

"What's 'sasunaru'?" Sasuke asked. "And what does 'mpreg' mean?"

"How would I know?" Kabuto said. "Let's see...this..."

Sasuke suddenly choked. "That--what the--"

Kabuto hit the 'back' button as quickly as possible. "That was a mental image I really, really didn't need."

Sasuke was still stuttering in disbelief. "But--but that's not even possible! NOT! POSSIBLE!"

"Why are you shouting at me? I didn't write it," Kabuto said, scrolling further down the list of stories. "Wow, Sasuke-kun, is there anyone you _haven't_ screwed?"

"These stories are complete nonsense!" Sasuke said, horrified by what he saw but unable to look away. "Who would do something like this!?"

"Even your own brother? Can't say I ever thought you were the type, Sasuke-kun..." Kabuto said, snickering.

"What!? Where? You made that up!"

"Nope, it's right here. See?"

Sasuke wasn't going to look. Definitely not. No, no, he wouldn't look...dammit. Stupid curiosity.

"_He had loved him since he was a mere child, Everthing about his older brother mesmerized him, His soft raven locks that fell across his back that were tied in a pony tail His long graceful fingers,His Full lips,His pale flawless skin,His blood red eyes, He even loved his older brothers cold adduitde_," Kabuto read, with what Sasuke considered entirely unnecessary snickers. "What's an 'adduitde', Sasuke, and since when do you like them?"

"Stop it!" Sasuke said, covering his ears. But he couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen.

"Oh, here's another one. _'Itachi could make Sasuke do anything for him. He had him cut in Itachi's name into his inner thigh to prove it to him, deep enough to never really heal away. Afterwards Itachi had fed Sasuke his own blood off of his fingers.'_ Didn't know you were so kinky, Sasuke-kun..."

"Gaaaah!" Sasuke shrieked, trying to hit Kabuto and cover his eyes at the same time, which didn't really work out so well. "Fine, let's search for_ your_ name, then!"

Kabuto just shrugged. "I don't really care..."

Sasuke typed furiously and hit the enter key. "Ha! See? You're in just as much bad porn as I am!"

"Are you kidding? We got about a hundred times as many hits for you as for me," Kabuto said, snickering again. "There is a lot of porn about Sound, though...where do people get these ideas?"

"What ideas?" Orochimaru said, wandering in. He had heard both shrieks of fury from Sasuke and snickering, which meant his second in command and his future vessel were fighting. Again.

"People seem to think Sound is some sort of constant orgy," Kabuto said without even looking up. "And Sasuke is apparently a nymphomaniac. See?"

"Don't do it!" Sasuke said, losing his head entirely. But it was no use, the other page had already been brought up.

"...huh," Orochimaru said. "Maybe we should've checked him for STDs before bringing him here..."

"This is all lies!" Sasuke said, flailing his arms.

"Some of it's pretty good, actually," Kabuto said, completely ignoring poor Sasuke.

"Do I have porn?" Orochimaru asked, also ignoring Sasuke. He only needed the kid's eyes, not his sanity.

"Looks like it," Kabuto said. "Not quite as much as Sasuke, but I'm not sure that would even be possible..."

"Why are you still looking at it!?" Sasuke shouted at them, but he was ignored once again.

"Lube no jutsu? Does that really exist?" Orochimaru was saying.

"Who would invent something like that?" Kabuto said skeptically.

"Jiraiya would."

"Well...yeah, that's true..."

Orochimaru looked thoughtful for a moment, and Sasuke began edging toward the door. Discretion was the better part of valor, and at this point he didn't give a damn how stupid he would look, he was ready to flee and go scrub his brain out.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Orochimaru said, still ignoring Sasuke, whose hand had reached the doorknob.

"Probably," Kabuto said, and at that point Sasuke broke and ran.

Sasuke didn't leave his room until the next morning, and he never asked what exactly those two psychopaths _had_ been thinking. There was such a thing as too much curiosity.


	3. Family

Author's Note: Sasuke-centric angst, pretty much.

Dysfunctional Family

_(Sometimes, Sound almost feels like a home to Sasuke, and he hates those times most of all.)_

There were times when Sasuke felt comfortable at Sound. Times when it almost reminded him of being back in Konoha, training with his team, living in a way that might almost have been mistaken for happiness.

There were times when Kabuto scolded Sasuke while he healed his injuries, and told him to be more careful and not be such a pain. Like an older brother would, almost. It reminded Sasuke too much of being six years old and spraining his ankle while practicing shuriken, and having his brother scold him while he carried Sasuke home on his back. Sasuke preferred being glared at, preferred it when having his injuries healed hurt far more than it needed to just because Kabuto hated his guts and wanted him to know it. Pain was something any shinobi knew how to deal with; having a brother was not something Sasuke could deal with ever again.

There were times when Orochimaru told him he was improving quickly, and Sasuke almost felt like he was twelve again, and Kakashi was teaching him the Chidori, and he was learning it faster than his teacher had ever expected. Sasuke preferred being treated just one more minion, albiet an important one, because that didn't disturb him nearly as much.

Sasuke hated the knowledge that even now, he was still being compared to Itachi and not quite measuring up, because it was Itachi who Orochimaru had wanted to possess; Sasuke was a second-rate replacement. Sasuke hated that with a passion.

Sasuke hated most of all that sometimes he found himself wondering how quickly his brother would have learned the techniques Orochimaru was teaching him, and barely resisted the temptation to ask. He didn't need the man who was no longer his brother added to an already dysfunctional family that he had never planned to be part of in the first place.


	4. Happiness

Author's Note: More Sasuke-centric angst, with a side of Kabuto.

Happiness

_(Sasuke muses on what happiness can mean for shinobi, specifically the psychopaths he now lives with.)_

Sasuke has begun to think that happiness is a terribly relative thing. The things people want destroy them; the things they need make them miserable; the things they think will bring them joy only bring them misery. Happiness isn't an easy thing to achieve.

And if that's true for an ordinary person, it's even truer for a shinobi. They're supposed to be tools, existing for war, existing to serve their leaders. Sasuke knows that, and he knows that no one cares whether a kunai is happy, so no one should care whether any other tool, shinobi included, is happy either.

Maybe that's why there are missing-nin, Sasuke reflects. Maybe shinobi betray their villages because they think it will make them happy. Sasuke knows better; he'd left Konoha because it would bring him closer to his goal, not because it would make him happy. Happiness was a vague, nebulous concept, and Sasuke saw no point in persuing it. Killing Itachi was enough for him. He didn't need happiness, as long as he had that goal.

And wasn't that all that anyone's 'happiness' really was, anyway? They all thought one thing or another would make them happy, but those things were just goals. Once achieved, they were gone, and so were no longer any feelings associated with them.

Naruto had thought being Hokage would make him happy, but Sasuke doubted that anything would really change even if that idiot managed something so spectacularly unlikely. People would still fear and mistrust him because of the demon inside him. Sakura had thought Sasuke's love would make her happy, but Sasuke knew that 'love' was just a lie. He had thought his brother loved him, after all. And Naruto and Sakura had thought that Sasuke cared about them, that they were friends, that they somehow mattered more than killing Itachi.

Sasuke had known all along that their happiness was not enough for him.

That was why he felt comfortable--not happy, but comfortable, and that was all he needed--at Sound. The whole lot of them were people who desired one thing or another. Power, mostly. Sasuke understood that, and he could respect it. They didn't expect happiness; power, pride, respect...those things were enough for the Sound shinobi. They might be criminals, but at least they weren't delusional.

With a single exception, and that annoyed Sasuke as much as it bewildered him.

At first, Sasuke had assumed it was an act; Kabuto _was_ a spy, after all. That overly cheerful smile was a sign that someone was about to be in severe pain, at least in Sasuke's opinion.

Then Sasuke had seen it as an irritating personality quirk. Maybe it was some twisted sadism that made Kabuto so damn happy all the time; he did spend an awful lot of time causing others grievous bodily harm. That was something Sasuke had no respect for, but at least he could understand it. Sadism was probably more accepted among shinobi than in most professions.

But that didn't really work either, because Kabuto was happy even when he _wasn't_ cutting people up, and Sasuke was pretty sure at this point that he wasn't just putting it on. It was starting to disturb him, because _no one_ could be that happy about being at Sound. The shinobi of Sound stayed because they had to, not because they wanted to. They stayed because they had nowhere else to go, or because they were willing to do anything for power. They didn't stay because they liked it.

But when Sasuke had finally just asked Kabuto why he was at Sound, the only answer he had received was 'It's just what I want to do.' And that made no sense at all, because no one in their right mind would _want_ to be at Sound, and no one in their right mind would _want_ to work for Orochimaru.

Sasuke finally decided that Kabuto was obviously completely insane. Insanity was easily mistaken for happiness, Sasuke supposed, and it wasn't like the insane person in question could tell the difference. That answer made sense to Sasuke, although it made him nervous about getting medical treatment from Kabuto. There was no reason for him to keep thinking about it.

But every time Sasuke saw Kabuto being so damn happy, he couldn't help but hate the world a little. Because even if he killed Itachi, even if he restored the Uchiha clan, Sasuke didn't think he would ever be happy like that.


	5. The Quiet Ones

Author's Note: Sasuke and Kabuto-centric. Well, Sasuke being creeped out by Kabuto, mostly. Heh.

The Quiet Ones

_(Sasuke thinks Kabuto is scarier than Orochimaru.)_

At first, Sasuke had naturally assumed that Orochimaru was the most dangerous person in Sound. And on one level, this was true; he was the strongest shinobi in Sound, and therefore the most deadly in combat.

But Sasuke quickly realized that he was in no danger from Orochimaru, because there would be no point in damaging the vessel he had worked so hard to obtain. Of course, Sasuke had still been wary, mostly because he was wary of anyone who said 'I want your body' to him.

Sasuke also realized fairly quickly that this was meant more along the lines of 'you have sharingan eyes and I want them' than anything sexual, so he put it out of his mind. He didn't care who got his eyes as long as Itachi was dead. It was still a little creepy to have Orochimaru act like he was Sasuke's uncle or something, but at least he wasn't in any actual danger.

Sasuke had also assumed that Kabuto was _not_ dangerous, on the grounds that no one in Sound was allowed to damage Sasuke, the future vessel. And besides, Kabuto was so quiet. Not to mention he couldn't even pass the Chuunin Exam.

In retrospect, Sasuke thought that he should have seen the flaw in that logic much, much sooner.

Maybe it was his unhealthy glee at cutting apart corpses and putting them back together to look like other people. Maybe it was the fact that he was, after all, the second-highest ranking shinobi in Sound, and there had to be a reason for it. Maybe it was the fact that he had been a spy in Konoha for years and had never been caught. Maybe it was all of that and more.

Whatever the reason, Sasuke quickly began to see that Kabuto was much more dangerous than he looked.

It was little things, at first. Like the fact that despite Kabuto's unfailing politeness, he still set off alarms in Sasuke's head that told him to either attack or run for his life. Or that Sasuke was pretty sure getting injuries healed wasn't supposed to hurt quite as much as when Kabuto did it, and he definitely wasn't incompetent, so it had to be deliberate. Or the fact that the one time Sasuke was foolish enough to ask Kabuto to spar with him, Kabuto had smiled as politely as ever and then beat the crap out of Sasuke.

Sasuke had taken a few days off to recover after that. He couldn't bring himself to get healed by the same person who had hurt him without ever losing that smile that was starting to disturb Sasuke.

No, Sasuke didn't take long to realize that for reasons he didn't know and wasn't sure he wanted to know, Kabuto hated him. Not only that, he hated Sasuke enough to actively cause him harm, although never anything permanent and never anything more than irritating; he was too loyal for that. But still, Sasuke felt a certain amount of anxiety about being dependant on such a person for healing.

Sasuke wondered, sometimes, why he never confronted Kabuto about any of this. But he didn't think about it long, because he didn't want to admit that he was scared, because Kabuto was the only person in Sound that he didn't know how to deal with.


	6. Childhood's End

Author's Note: Kabuto-centric. Basically introspective angst.

Childhood's End

_(Kabuto remembers the day he stopped being a child.)_

Shinobi are never really children; from the tender age of four they are throwing practice shurikan into logs, readying themselves for the day that the blades will be sharp and the logs will be replaced by people. Genin are usually around twelve, but they're already old enough to kill and die. They can't possibly be children.

But children don't always know what they do, and a child doesn't think anything of throwing a blunted knife at a tree. It's just a game, just competition among classmates, just a chance to get a good mark and be praised. It's not dangerous or disgusting. It's nothing like real combat. It is just practice; it is just play.

Kabuto doesn't think he was ever really a child, because he can barely remember a time before he knew that shinobi's lives were bloody messes hidden in the dark. His earliest memories are of men in animal masks appearing out of nowhere and slaughtering everyone but him.

He wonders, sometimes, why they left him alive. He was already old enough to be in training as a shinobi. Did they honestly think he would be grateful to them for leaving him alive? The Leaf couldn't possibly be foolish enough to think he would be loyal, not after he watched them kill his family.

Shinobi receive emotion training. They learn to block out the natural hesitation to kill, the feelings of horror or pity they might have for an enemy. They learn to set their humanity aside for the sake of the mission. But maybe, Kabuto thinks, even a shinobi hesitates to kill a child. Maybe even a shinobi likes to pretend, every once in a while, that he is still human.

That's why he's alive, Kabuto thinks. Because some fool from the medical squad was too weak to carry out the mission. Plain old human error, simple stupidity, was his salvation, and the Leaf have paid dearly for it.

Kabuto knows the Leaf like to think they are better than hired killers, that they are fighting for good reasons, that they still have principles. But he remembers the ground turning to mud from the blood soaking into it, and knows that they're wrong.


	7. Blood is Thicker

Author's Note: spoilers for...Kabuto's imaginary backstory? (laughs) Kabuto-centric, mild gore and violence.

Blood is Thicker

_(Because mind-controlled spies don't make for the most loyal of adopted children.)_

_(Notes: I'm rather fond of the fanon theory that Kabuto killed his adoptive father, mostly because it seems like something a shinobi would do. They're all rather obsessed with vengeance. Also, I don't think Kabuto's adoptive parents even have names in canon, so I picked Iyasu, which means 'to heal'. Hey, lots of Kishimoto's names are actual Japanese words, so...yeah, lame, I know. Heh.)_

Yakushi Iyasu pressed a hand over the gaping wound in his stomach, struggling to mold chakra so he could heal it. But he barely had enough strength to stay standing; the battle had been more difficult than anticipated. Where were the other members of the medical squad? He needed help, and quickly...

There was a faint noise behind him; he turned as quickly as he could, the motion making him dizzy. It was his son. He was still only in training, but even a little healing would be enough for him to last until another medic found them.

"Thank God you're here," he gasped out, falling to his knees as his strength failed him at last. "Hurry, Kabuto-kun."

Iyasu would have realized sooner if he'd been at full awareness. Kabuto was entirely too calm.

"It didn't hit anything vital," he observed, walking over to stare down at his adoptive father.

"Quickly," Iyasu said again.

"There's no point in hurrying," Kabuto said. "The others won't get here in time."

"But you're here," Iyasu said slowly.

Kabuto was smiling. "Yes," he said, drawing out a kunai. "I am."

Iyasu had never seen his son look like this before; it was like he was an entirely different person. He was eerily, unnaturally calm, almost _happy_ to watch his father bleed to death in front of him. "Why?" Iyasu gasped out as he felt the kunai slide home, going deeper into the wound, reaching the vitals at last. "Your own father..."

"My father is dead," Kabuto said, and his smile was colder now. "You killed him. And my mother, and my sister. You killed them all."

"I took care of you. I _loved_ you," Iyasu said as he lay on his side, taking his last desperate breaths.

"But I didn't," Kabuto said. He stayed until the man who had never been his father was dead, then turned and headed for a different part of the forest. No one would ever know he had been there when Iyasu died.

Later, when he was informed of his father's death, Kabuto cried very realistic tears. The other shinobi told him that his father had died bravely, as a proud shinobi of the Leaf. That he should be proud to be the son of such a man. Kabuto thanked them politely, and they let him leave with no questions asked at all. No one thought for an instant that he had anything to do with Iyasu's death.

Kabuto came home to an empty house that night, and smiled.


	8. Entertainment

Author's Note: Umm...it's kind of crackish. Humorous not-porn? Rating T for sexual implications. Did I mention the crack? OroKabu.

Entertainment

(alternate title: Massively Inappropriate, Badly Written Sexytiemz!)

_(In which Subieko embarrasses herself by trying to write sex. Without writing the sex part. Also in which massively inappropriate, underage, borderline pedophillic, vast-power-difference sexual activity occurs, in massively inappropriate ways. ZOMG!)_

If the question was 'how much', then the answer would be 'not enough'. If the question was 'how good', the answer would be 'meh.' There was no way, in Orochimaru's mind at least, that any sex could really be bad, but still, options were limited. Screwing his barely-preteen subordinates was just wrong, most of them were morons and therefore boring anyway, he was a wanted criminal and thus couldn't really go find anyone to sleep with, and most people went all relationship-y anyway. Prostitutes were iffy as well. Orochimaru suspected that the reason half the Akatsuki screwed each other (and no one could tell him this was not happening, it was undeniable) was because no one else would even look at them. Sharks, puppets, extra mouths, cannibal plants...and he was secretly a giant snake. Yeah, good dating prospects all around.

Which was probably why he was currently shoving his newly-promoted Konoha spy against a tree and licking his throat (the prehensile tongue really did come in handy). He was pretty, could carry on an intelligent conversation, was twisted enough to be the least relationship-prone person Orochimaru currently knew, and fifteen and seven months was close enough to the age of consent, right?

And, hey, if Kabuto was demented enough to actually want to be fucked by someone three times his age, that wasn't Orochimaru's fault. Grabbing someone and pulling them closer to you was pretty much the same as saying 'yes'. Probably.

Still, getting screwed just because of seniority would be really pathetic. He wasn't that desperate. Yet.

"You don't have to do this, you know. I won't order you."

Kabuto just smirked a very twisted smirk. "Why would you need to?"

And that, as they say, was that.


End file.
